


Supernatural: The Script as Written by a Bot

by PiscesPenName



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angels are Dicks (Supernatural), Bromance, Comedy, Demon Blood, Humor, Screenplay/Script Format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-10-21 10:55:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20692361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PiscesPenName/pseuds/PiscesPenName
Summary: I forced a BOT to watch 1,000 hours of The Kripke Seasons of Supernatural and write a script for an episode of its own. This is the result.





	Supernatural: The Script as Written by a Bot

INT. ASYLUM

It is Night. There is blood. It spatters on the wall. There is blood in the hallway. The hallway is made of blood.

EXT. PARKING LOT

DEAN exits the building. He is an underwear model. SAM is with him. He is a Sasquatch. Sam likes hair.

DEAN:

SAM! (It is a MANLY yell).

SAM:

DEAN! (This yell is also manly. It sounds like hair.)

DEAN: **  
**

SAMMY!

SAM:

DEAN!

SAM and DEAN get into the car. They are BROTHERS.

  


DEAN: 

SAM!

SAM:

The lore says that we cannot put salt on vengeful spirits.

(DEAN strokes his car. She is a woman).

DEAN: 

DAD told us to use salt!

SAM:

(SAM is angry).

Dad is wrong! He makes us sleep with shotguns!

DEAN:

(yells at him). College is wrong! People should stay with their FAMILY! I like pie!

_ (SAM dies). _

(DEAN cradles him). 

DEAN:

He is my BROTHER!! (He cries a single tear. It is MANLY. It is made of salt).

  
  


EXT. CAR:

  


CASTIEL appears. He is a DICK with WINGS.

CAS(S): 

My brothers are attempting to ruin all! They will kill you!

DEAN: 

(holding SAM’S lifeless body). My brother is DEAD. His salt tear lingers on his underwear model cheekbones. He pets Sam’s hair.

DEAN: 

Bring him back!

CAS$: 

Did you use salt?

DEAN: 

I will make a Demon Deal!

CASTIEL (walks over to the car. He has a trenchcoat. It moves like a cape. He has no emotions).

CASTIEL:

(with no emotion)

I will bring back your BROTHER, DEAN. For GOD has commanded it.

DEAN:

I don’t believe in GOD. (He is DRUNK. Dean is always DRUNK when he is sad.)

CASTIEL touches a hand to SAM’S forehead. CASTIEL glows white and for a moment, his dick feathers are revealed.

SAM opens his eyes and gasps. He is angry. SAM is always angry.

SAM: 

DEAN!

DEAN:

(with emotion) SAMMY!

SAM: 

(with BITCH FACE) My NAME is SAM.

They glare at each other while ROCK MUSIC plays. CASTIEL is gone. There is only BROTHERS.

(It is TUESDAY. DEAN dies).

SAM cries and holds DEAN’S lifeless body. His HAIR is sad. He summons a DEMON and drinks BLOOD. It tastes like SALT.


End file.
